


They Listen to His Nightmares and Worries

by jadencross



Series: He Sleeps, She Sings, They Listen [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bonding, Dreams and Nightmares, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-14 19:45:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9199772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadencross/pseuds/jadencross
Summary: Out in the wilds of the Universe, there aren't any walls to hide behind.Shiro really wishes there were.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel to my other fic, He Sleeps in the Sky of Ice. You don't have to have read it, as it's a prequel. This one works fine as a stand-alone.
> 
> For some quick backstory for new readers, this takes place about a month or two after the end of season 1. All the paladins have been scattered throughout the universe. Allura did a one-time magic show to get them all connected enough to form a plan wherein the Blue Lion and castle come find Red, while Black finds Green, then they both got find Yellow. Yellow then follows Blue's train to the castle. [basically each lion can only find one other one from all the way across the galaxy for security.] This happens after Shiro, Pidge, and Hunk meet up, but before they find Lance. At this time, they're following Lance's trail.
> 
> Hey guys! So I finally got the 3rd part of the title sequence for this series out lol. It's been half finished for months now. All it took was an impending deadline to finish.
> 
> I didn't have any proofer, so as normal all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> Now let's get this party started.

It was a nightmare again. 

Cold was burning against his skin, metal screeching against itself, screaming and blood attacking him mercilessly. There was anger and fear and resentment and chaos. Shiro couldn’t tell up from down. Front from back. 

Right from wrong.

The worst thing about it what he didn’t know what was happening. Who was bleeding? Who was suffering? Was it him? Matt? Sam? Another prisoner? A guard? The holes in his memory plagued him even in his dreams. Part of Shiro wished that they would fill in, that he would remember everything, but another wanted them to stay hidden. 

_ They’re missing for a reason _ , it hissed inside of him.  _ You don’t want them back _ .

But suddenly, he got it back. 

He was in the arena. There was some alien probably half his height. This scene was new, not something that he had seen over and over again. He didn’t know how it would go.

He swiped forward, unable to stop himself. This was the past. He couldn’t change it. The alien dodged, clumsy and scared. Tears poured under their eyes. 

“Please, spare me,” he heard it whisper. 

He lunged again.

The alien dodged, tripping and sliding. They looked sort of like a bipedal lizard, but with no tail. They got up, their greenish eyes turning every which way.

Shiro threw his sword, pinning his opponent to the pillar by the arm. They screamed, the sound of anguish met by cheers from the crowd.  Shiro walked closer, picking up the sword the alien had dropped. 

“I don’t want to die,” they begged again. 

Shiro attacked anyway. 

The sword cut through his flesh, and suddenly he was the one who was pinned to the pillar. He gasped in pain, looking up into his own glowing yellow eyes. 

“I don’t want to die,” Shiro’s lips moved on their own, his voice pitiful and raspy. Everything hurt. He felt the sword inside of him. It pressed against his insides and stung as it continued.

“Neither did the child you killed.” His other face twisted into a wicked smile. “But they died anyway.”

“Shrio!”

Shiro sat bolt upright, sweat sticking his hair to his face. He was panting, the feeling of sharp metal still stinging his insides and air refusing to cooperate with his lungs. 

He blinked a few times, the blurriness of sleep slowly fading away from his eyes. When they cleared he noticed that Pidge had her hands on his shoulders, her concerned face looking directly into his eyes. Behind her he could see Hunk kneeling on the ground, his face mirroring Pidge’s.

“Are you okay?” Pidge’s voice was soft. She seemed to be searching his eyes.

“I’m fine,” Shiro said just a little too quickly. 

Pidge’s lips twitched into a frown, not a glimmer of belief in her eyes. “Liar.”

Shiro pushed her off gently, coming to stand on in front of her. “I’m fine, really.” He swayed a little, still a little dizzy from the dream. Still a little woozy from what he did. Shiro turned to walk into the woods.

“No you don’t.” 

A huge hand clamped onto Shiro’s shoulder, causing him to jump. Before he could react, Hunk had turned him around, his other hand clamping onto Shiro’s other shoulder and preventing Shiro from escaping without fighting him physically. 

Hunk fixed his gaze on Shiro, concern and a fierce protectiveness swirling in his brown eyes. They were stern, and Shiro was shocked with how  _ old  _ they looked.

Sometimes, Shiro forgot that Hunk and the others were all younger than him. He sometimes forgot that even though the difference was small in years, it was significant in their age range. He sometimes forgot that he was the only adult human present. 

But when he remembered, he felt his responsibilities come crashing down on him harder than ever. 

Allura and Coran probably didn’t understand that Hunk, Keith, and Lance were just at the beginnings of adulthood. They probably didn’t understand that Pidge was still only two years into being a teenager. Shiro was still new at being an adult. He wasn’t prepared to be one of the oldest people present at the human table so soon. Hell, even  _ Matt  _ had been older than him by a few months.

Shiro felt his eyes watering again, but he pushed them back. He had to be strong for his team.

Hunk, however, saw the unshed tears.

“Dude,” he said, his voice low and stern, “just talk to us.”

Shiro shook his head. “It’s nothing, really. I’m fine.”

Hunk’s face didn’t change.

“I’m  _ fine _ , Hunk.”

“You’re not, though.” Pidge was suddenly standing by Hunk’s side, her eyes searching Shiro’s.

“This is the fifth nightmare you’ve had in the last three days,” Hunk said. “You can’t be ‘fine’ with that many.”

“Just tell us what’s wrong,” Pidge’s voice was soft again. 

“I…” 

Shiro wanted to tell them. He knew he should share sometime. He knew it was the best thing for him. But for the others?

If he had talked to Allura, he would have been taking time away from her duties as a princess and the leader of Voltron. If he had talked to Coran, the man would have to take time from his job fixing up the Castle and cooking and it would put more stress on him. If he told Keith, the boy would probably get angry and rush out to take on Zarkon himself to make up for what Shiro had suffered. If he told Lance or Hunk, he didn’t think they’d stop worrying about him, or know what to do to help him emotionally. And if he told Pidge…

If he told Pidge all the horrible and horrendous things that had happened to him, or how fucked up it had made him, or how many sleepless night he got from the neverending nightmares—well, her father and brother were in the same predicament Shiro had been in, weren’t they? And they hadn’t been able to escape.

“Please?”

Pidge’s voice was so soft it was barely audible. It was so quiet, and so unlike Pidge—unlike  _ Katie _ —that it shook Shiro to his core.

“I don’t want to make you guys worry,” was what he finally decided on. 

Hunk snorted. “You’re making us worry with your unending nightmares and the fact you aren’t asking for help, man.”

“Shiro.” Pidge’s voice commanded his full attention. “I know you’re worried about how learning what happened to you will affect me. You’re worried I’ll be distressed about my family. But you’re my family, too, aren’t you? Aren’t we all just one giant space family?”

Shiro swallowed.

“It hurts me that you’re so upset, Shiro,” Pidge continued. “So please, let us help you.”

There was a pause. Shiro weighed his options, his internal scale tipping one way or the other like an uneven metronome. Finally, he decided.

Damn these kids and their logic. 

“Okay.”

Pidge and Hunk both brightened. Shiro gave them a half-hearted smile.

“Let’s sit by the fire,” Hunk said, releasing one of Shiro’s shoulders and pulling him with the other towards the fire they had made hours ago. Shiro wasn’t sure if he was dragged so easily because he was tired or because Hunk was even stronger than he pegged him to be.

They settled themselves, forming a small triangle around their even smaller fire. Hunk put a few more purple logs (what else could be expected of space?) on the fire before turning to look intently at Shiro.

“Shoot.”

Shiro closed his eyes and breathed in through his mouth, counting to five slowly before exhaling. He opened his eyes, and steeled himself.

And then he began to talk.

He talked about his worries about leading Voltron. He talked about how he didn’t feel like he was ready to lead such an important mission. About how even on the Kerberos mission Captain Holt had been in charge. He talked about how worried he was that he was the oldest human. He talked about how even he wasn’t prepared for this, so how could the rest of them be?

He talked about how stressful it was for him to keep his fear of the Galra to a minimum. He talked about how he constantly fought the panic and worry and pain in his nightmares so they wouldn’t bleed into his waking hours. He talked about how he barely slept because he just  _ couldn’t _ for all the nightmares.

As he talked, he felt a weight on his shoulders lift. It felt good to talk to somebody. It felt good to finally confide in someone.

But when he looked up and glanced into their eyes, and saw their worry only get worse the longer he talked, he felt his heart squeeze. He shouldn’t have told them this. 

He stopped talking abruptly, snapping his jaw shut and leaning onto his knees, burying his face in his hands to avoid their worried gazes.

They were too young for this.

Hunk and Pidge were quiet for a long time. Shiro could feel their eyes on him, but the longer the seconds dragged out, the more worried Shiro became. 

He really shouldn’t have told them.

“Wow,” Hunk said finally. “That’s...heavy.”

Shiro curled his hands into fists. 

“Why didn’t you ever tell anyone?” Pidge’s voice was comforting.

“I didn’t want anyone to worry,” Shiro replied. He’d already spilled his guts. Might as well admit it. 

“Dude, everyone was worried anyway.” Hunk’s voice was a lot closer than Shiro remembered. He looked up to see that they had both shifted closer. Hunk gently put a hand on his shoulder and Pidge leaned against his side.

“You kept talking about how worried you are that we’re too young,” Pidge said, “but you’re not exactly that old yourself.”

Shiro laughed, but it came out more as a puff of breath.

“We’re all really young, Shiro,” Hunk said. “But that doesn’t mean that we can’t handle it. So far, we’re doing just fine. And you know why?”

Shiro looked up, seeing the fire sparkling in Hunk’s eyes. They looked so warm, so comforting.

“We confide in each other,” Pidge said. “All of us do. Well, I don’t know if Keith does, but he’s Mr. Angst Bucket so.”

Shiro looked at her, watching the worry fade into a muted happiness.

“Allura talks to Coran about her worries,” Hunk said. “And Coran and Lance seem to have some sort of mutual sharing about things. Pidge and I talk, and Lance joins us sometimes. And even Keith tries to get his emotions out using the training deck, though I don’t know how much longer that’s gonna last. We’ll have to corner him.”

“You can’t just bottle up emotions,” Pidge said. “I’m glad you shared this with us. As repayment, you have to keep sharing.” Her eyes took on a softer light. “No one likes seeing you this upset.”

“Yeah Lance was one hundred percent going to just barge into your room in the middle of the night after we rescued Allura to make you talk,” Hunk chuckled. “Looks like we did it for him.”

Shiro felt a smile slowly rest on his lips. They were right. It felt nice to confide. It felt nice to vent.

“Thanks, guys,” he said. He looked up, the stars barely visible through the vaguely leaf-shaped things above them. “It’s late. We should rest.”

Hunk and Pidge nodded, shuffling back over to their sleeping bags. They settled down, grunting and sighing as they relaxed. A moment of silence passed.

“Hey Shiro?”

“Yes Pidge?”

“I wasn’t kidding about talking to us again.”

Shiro shifted. He saw her honey eyes staring at him in a low light. “I know you weren’t.”

“Seriously.” She yawned. “I will corner you in your room until you spill your guts. It won’t be a fun experience.”

Shiro laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Pidge smiled, then turned to her other side. Shiro lay on his back, watching the stars float by.

So, maybe, talking to Hunk and Pidge hadn’t fixed his situation. And maybe all of his worries were still there. And maybe he still felt a little bad about dumping his emotions on them. 

But maybe, just maybe, that was okay. Maybe he’d be stronger for it. Less distracted. Less tired. More attentive. A better leader.

And maybe, he was going to be okay.

Shiro felt sleep grip him, but it wasn’t with clawing hands, like it had the last year or so. It was with a soft caress of his cheek and a glowing in his heart. Overhead, the stars twinkled in the night, sending him happy dreams of friendship and love and kindness.

It was the best sleep of Shiro’s life. 

**Author's Note:**

> So there we go guys! I only have two more ficlets to write, then I just gotta post three and the end of He Sleeps and this series is officially wrapped up just in time for the season 2 premier! 
> 
> I already have most of the other fics done, so I think I can keep the schedule I set. So see you guys on Monday!
> 
> And as always, thanks for commenting a reading and leaving kudos!


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